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5 Ways to Bust out of a Sex Rut

It's ten p.m. and you're tired after the end of a long day, but your partner has that look in their eyes that you know means there's no sleep happening just yet.  Rather than try something new and exciting in the bedroom, you fall back on the same tried and true moves to get results.  Sure those moves work, but they're also likely to put you to sleep.  

Sound familiar?  If so, you may be in a sex rut, and the truth is you deserve a more sizzling sex life.  While there's nothing wrong with knowing what works for you and your partner, it's both healthy and fun to shake things up a little.  Here are five ways to bust out of a sex rut and reclaim your sex god status.

Happy dance

1.

Communicate  

Sometimes we allow ourselves to keep up the status quoa simply because we don't speak up when we want something different. Ask each other a few sexy questions from this list and use the answers to spice up your sex life.

  • Which of my body parts do you like best?
  • What's your favorite position?
  • What's your biggest turn on?
  • If I were to give you oral right now, what would you want me to do?
  • What's your favorite fantasy?
  • Is there something you'd like me to do differently in bed?  
  • Is there a part of your body you'd like me to touch more?
  • What was your favorite time having sex with me? Why?
  • What do you like most about our sex life?

2.

Add in the element of surprise

By definition, a rut is a routine or a habit. The best way to break it? Do something unexpected. This can be anything from trying a new move to ramping up your dirty talk or bringing a toy into the bedroom.  Try moving things off the bed and to the couch, or floor, or shower.  Even if you don't "need" it, using lube is also a great way to enhance sensations and add a new feeling during sex.

3.

Get curious

Sometimes the best way to know what you want in bed is to explore what's out there.  Tap into someone else's kinky mindset by reading a book, listening to a sexy podcast, watching some porn, whatever. 

4.

Take a trip

Changing your surroundings can have a huge impact on how you and your partner relate to each other.  After all, when you're in the same places, it's easy to do the same things.  Try mixing it up - book a plane ride, go to a couple’s retreat, or even have a staycation in your town.  You might find that the change of pace helps both of you relax and recharge those creative juices, and having sex in a new location will help you make steamy new memories together.

5.

Spend some time alone 

It sounds counterintuitive but spending some time apart from your partner not only makes you appreciate them a little more, but it gives you a chance to do the things that bring you pleasure.  It's highly unlikely that your partner enjoys doing every single thing you do, so focusing on a little alone time lets you explore those passions and bring your newfound energy into the bedroom.

August 04, 2016 by Tanya Gallagher

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